I never cared about work-life balance early in my career. I was an ambitious woman in a male dominated field trying to work twice as hard as everyone else to prove myself. This all changed 8 years ago when I gave birth to my son. I returned to work when my son was 7 weeks old. As driven as I was in my career, I was equally driven to be a high performing mom. These strategies have helped me balance my home and work life.
No one cares about your work-life balance more than you. On occasion I mentor young men and women who are concerned about their life balance. I tell them that it is their responsibility to make sure their home and work life is balanced. You need to advocate for yourself. Read your company policies and talk to your manager.
I tell my employees to put their family first and their work second. I am always supportive when there is a personal situation that needs attention. However, I do not take their personal lives in consideration when I am delegating tasks or assigning projects. I rely on them to let me know if there is a conflict between the workload and their work-life balance. If your manager is not empowering you to speak up on then you need to empower yourself. Early in my career it would never have occurred to me to talk to my staff about balancing their home and work life.
You will feel guilty but don't let it drive your actions. This was something that took me many years to master. When my son was very young I lived in a constant state of guilt. At work I felt guilty about not being home, and at home I felt guilty about not being at work. I read that I needed to get rid of the guilt but I was never able to stop feeling guilty.
I can't control the sting of guilt I feel when I need to miss an important meeting to pick up my sick child from school, or when I need to leave for a few days on a business trip. What I can control is my behavior. Ultimately I understand that I am a better employee and a better mom when I stop trying to give 100% of myself to both my job and my family.
Prioritize what is important at work and at home. I am a people pleaser so I really do not like to say no to any request. What I have learned to say that has helped me tremendously is, "Yes, I can do that but here is where it sits on my list of priorities." Understanding the important things both at work and at home will help you concentrate your time on the tasks that matter the most.
Communicating the priority to the requestor also helps to set clear expectations for when they can expect the results. As we all know priorities can and do change so it is important to maintain that communication with the requestor throughout the process. This feels more natural for me at work so let me give you an example for your home life.
If my husband asks me to renew my son's passport I might say, "Sure, I can do that. I know that we need to have this complete before we fly internationally so I will make sure to have the process started 10 weeks in advance of our flight. Right now my top priorities are finishing the birthday party invitations and getting cookies baked for the bake sale. I will put organizing the yard sale on the back burner for now." He then has the choice to do it himself, help with the other top priorities so that I have more free time for the passport task, or wait until I am able to do it myself.
Block time on the calendar for your home life, including time for yourself. At work I always know what I need to be doing because it is scheduled on my calendar. When I get home it is easy to be distracted and end up not accomplishing things that are important -- especially spending quality time with your family and spending quality time alone. Blocking time out for these activities helps me align my family to the plan and ensures we take the time to connect with each other and ourselves.
